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IMPORTANT!

Actually, really only the representatives are fun-neck. The rest can be safely forgotten. Most of the texts originated there anyway as a result of mental derangement, and was therefore not really much, with the "true" I created.

Thank you for your attention.

Straight Line Beard Even

representatives Reloaded

Well, friends of the South Pacific today, it was finally time. The Telekom called to their new, highly ingenious Call & Surf tariff offer. But this was not to be.

"Yes?" Hello? "

"Good day, here is Mrs. blabla by the Telekom, am I right here at blablup family?"

"Yes, of course!"

"You are using but the call Surf and collective ... "

" How will they know the `?"

"Well, that is in here and they also have DSL, but at a different company!"

"Yes, 1and1, NEN make really good job the guys because they can immediately call and congratulate those times too! "

" Well, uh [laughs] and they call on ... "

" Exactly! Tele2 ... them we see the telecom cheat wherever we can! "

" I remember already .. how much they pay for it? "

" I can not say Ihnn unfortunately, you have to otherwise I kill them. It's not even my connection, they understand I'm high school graduate "

"Oh, so they laugh all the time so mockingly."

"No ... I would but even if it was my connection"

"[Laughs] Well then I can give them even just want a schönesn day!"

"Also"


Well, I got the call and Surf collective refused mercy.

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farting?


Well, today we are approaching a time issue, which is very reluctant in public life - the fart (flatus From the Latin for wind / flatulence)
I consider the Asia-Zone.de, as an ideal platform to discuss about . Hanniboy not be mad, this is clearly regarded as a compliment.

But before we look at the effects of farting, especially in rooms that deal with limited space are characteristic (elevators) dedicate, we first time with the biological process of farting and the produce such strange intestinal gases, so it sometimes " properly crack "can be, as the masses say.

So, what is needed to ignite a fart right and no sinking Windchen which föhnt a really hair back? Quite simply, the right ingredients!
are best for the future apocalypische thunder, the following products:

onions
eggs
Cola
sauerkraut
for that extra something it is worth also a little curry and pepper to mix into their food.

For those who suffer from lactose intolerance - Congratulations! Finally, you can use this unpleasant disease to you and your environment, leaving bell sounds unimaginable beauty.


From beginning to end!

After you've now taken the ingredients and you relax in front of the computer pops happen in your digestive tract unusual things.

must first be decomposed food, this is already happening in the mouth, the digested food then slips into the stomach and is further decomposed and finally reaches in the small intestine. There we
the hydrochloric acid (pH in the stomach at about 0.8), neutralized by bicarbonate.

Let me just quote Wikipedia, nobody does it better.




"By ptyalin is starch to oligosaccharides and maltose These are the enzymes lactase (to break down milk sugar), sucrase and maltase in their individual constituents (glucose , fructose, galactose and mannose) cut, which can then be absorbed by a Na +-glucose symport in the cells of the intestinal mucosa.
which is also pre-digested proteins, which are now available exclusively as peptides (poly-, di-and tri-peptides) by peptidases (mainly Trypsin, chymotrypsin and carboxypeptidases decomposed) into amino acids. They are taken up by a Na +-amino acid symport in the cell. 90% of di-and tri-peptides are specific transport mechanisms directly channeled into the cell and degraded by a cytoplasmic peptidase with amino acids "


This would mean, what notice it you? Right nothing! The yet nobody understands.
is the food decomposed and it produces gases and that about 15 liters. Much is exhaled (True, if someone talks to you, then he farts you know ... oh we let it). The actual flatulence occurs only when an over-production of gases available.
is
But not everyone is fart to amuse, it is the one of the more than 20 times a day something can escape out the back is sick under warranty. Otherwise, farting 8 times a day as normal.
women and men fart Traderjob equally often. But since is the next problem.

While a horde of men (often referred to as a collection of ape-men) drive a can, are 'the cheers, and hear loud clapping of hands as a sign meets the admiration and not as a penalty, of course but by itself in women of this behavior usually with rejection, but there is apparently some women, which accounts for nothing.
I myself am also aware of one, but the call I can not. I would create a new ENEMY and this cannot be the proper sense of this comment!

But how does someone who is about to fart?

Outdoors it is hard to see people who have run against you, grinning happily married either grade are stoned or have just easier perifär. In confined spaces may be different. Thus, to observe, however, that people put in elevators astonishing conduct of the firing is not the gas gun.

They usually introduce themselves briefly on his toes, because they think they can pinch the jaws together more effectively. The increase would be the rocker whose on tiptoe. Is reached this state, it is inevitable for the consumer would be dangerous.
How to get out of this situation, if one is not straight amateur diver?
Even when stepping into the elevator you see people together tricks in his eyes, this can be interpreted as a sign. Should he screw up his eyes and already wobbling, it means red alert ... and that darkest dark. Rather turns around and buys you an ice cream of your choice.

But even if, you now can not escape or self-will to the offender. It's all just so bad. And the worst of times will pass soon. Uses the time around you just wondering about it, if a man really in the 20th Live stock , or whether ground floor had not been enough.

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Lucid Dreams

"Have you ever wondered why in a dream you can touch a falling sky?
Fly to the heavens that watch over you, telling me it's a voodoo,
Voodoo Too"

Na had Godsmack right and it is with something about voodoo?

No, not really. In a lucid dream or lucid dream the dreamer is aware that he is dreaming. This knowledge enables him to unimagined possibilities for action, ranging from the pure pleasure to therapies.

The dreamer can fly in this, by the way-learn phenomenon, or walk through walls. Imagine objects / persons and making it work. Even so shall complex movements to learn. Snowboarding, surfing and remember simple facts is possible. But not by magic, you have to be aware beforehand of course on the theory, repeating it in this dream .. only to infinity, if you will.

Sounds like an exciting thing surprising is that these dreams occur in most people. So give 84% of the interviewed people to schonmal have experienced a lucid dream. Hear, hear.

on the details of how to learn what you can do exactly and how you can see that it is at all concerned about such a dream, let I not from here. Since there is enough material on the Internet. Employ one should ever so, it is interesting anyway.

is much more interesting to read it, keep what other people like this, when they confronted.

"Dreams are cool Last night was a comedy Hab laughed myself silly Previously it was a drama in front of an erotic thriller I... rocks need no cinema, my brain ... "

"The issue is quite interesting, i have a book on Lucid Dreaming read. After I have followed for weeks, the guide, came at last a result. Trick here is that one while falling asleep recalled that one dream is. "

"I can more or less without exercise. My brain and I are friends."

"generally critical to deal with the reality is the trick."

Well then, off to bed and dream away the problems simple!
Good night.

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cartoon characters.

There are things in this, our beautiful earth, which you simply can not be angry.
children! Cats! Cotton candy and cartoon characters.

I liked today to speak briefly on a Zeichentrickfigut that made me laugh more than the 7-10 season of nonsense comedy clubs. Homer Simpson.




He's lazy, fat and straw stupid. But somehow lovable. I personally feel better when I see him. Give
times on Youtube and funny Homer Simpson, and convince yourself

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representatives! A dream

I register on the phone basically "yes, duck breeding station Görlitz?
If they then hang up already, it was a representative. No issue.

But I had nice conversations with representatives.

"If you do not even flow of Yellowstone have electricity?
" Thanks, I have my own wind turbine "
" huh? "
" Hell no "
The sets Opposite on.

" You have won the SKL-Show they can find Günther Jauch stay, "
" I have not a lot! "
" Does not nothing! "
" Ahh .... ne thank you, I'm gonna be more fan-Schmidt
[representatives and I laugh]
"Na good, nice day "
The sets Compared to


" Hi, I'm from the Kärcher, it not even take a minute. (was interrupted by me)
"You have exactly 60 seconds"
"Uh, some of questions. Are they willing to do?
"No"
"How old are they?"
"19 4 / 5 years old,"
"How many lives are still in their household?"
"4 people and 2 cats"
"finding it difficult homework?
" Well, but of course "
"If they are interested in new equipment?"
"Not if they want to sell me then some!"
"How old are your parents?"
"On average, 46 years old"
"Can I speak for a minute?"
"You have 60 seconds!"
"Uh, no, better not ....
" Okay, nice day "shall
The Opposite on

today the continuation

" Yes, duck breeding station Görlitz?
"Ähmmm ähhh .. I speak with Mr. Marque .... Marqu ..
"Yes they do"
"They have taken part in a survey last week ..."
"Are you sure?"
"yes .... I"
"Was just kidding"
"Here is an error in the computer ...."
"This is very sad,"
"[Laughs] I ask them again for their age?"
"Yes, but selbverständlich"
"[representatives considered ....... apparently waiting to ask a number .. but"
"How old are they?"
"Fast 36 and I can happily inform you that our appliances are still working properly and the highest quality, so there is no Nodwendigkeit to sell me what"
"I want them ...." but no sale
"Achso! You want to sell me no what they want then?"
"thank me for having taken part in the survey have ... and I would like to talk your wife "
" My wife is doing ????.... Oh my wife .... I'm sorry, the ne is nich da
...." "Then I try again later "
" As you wish "
Verterter hangs up

I bet the calls again to ... I'll wait ... I'll be there.

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I took a clear river. One big lake I stood, I looked down and then I saw you.

"Hey, why such a sad face?"
"I am not doing well, I feel bad," Puzzled, I looked

.

"Tell me about what is wrong with you not? "
" It's such a Moment, you see people standing there on the shore? "

I immediately looked over. On the other side of the lake were a few people to see. There was a big blond boy with glasses, next girlfriend. In addition, there were two women kissing , both with curly dark hair. Just off of it was still a woman, long black hair, she smiled and stared at me.

"Yes, I see the people there, what's wrong with that do not?"
"I do not belong, not really. Everything you like I do not know "

" What is that? "
" A tender touch and a friendly face.
A kiss and a hug for me, little wretch "

Confused, I looked over again. The people on the other hand, looked at me. One of the women with curly hair Accentuated threatening a finger. I turned around and looked down to a twerp.

"Well, your time will come"
"Oh, is that so? Do you know why it rains?"
"Yes of course! Water evaporated and condensed ...."

The wretch saw me and stopped me happy.
"You see, some things are just there ... they are facts. Can change some known, others not"

It rumbled in the sky, thick clouds covered the sun and disappeared. It flashed and thunder, and shortly thereafter the rain splashing on our heads down. I looked again to the other side of the lake. The blond boy and his friend went. The girl who cut his finger menacingly before that began to curse and rage. The woman with long black hair stretched casually on their screen. It was apparently no matter what happens here. She looked easy to grow.
I turned briefly and looked back to the runt.

"What is the moral of the story?"
"There are moments that make everything to nothing. I'm sitting here for years and nobody looks at me, I am and remain a wretch, if I'm not complaining or not."

Then I closed my eyes and I realized there was no runt.
The voice echoed in the lake my face.

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jokes

Well, who does not know jokes. I personally find many funny at first, but so far I have not one to remember over the years. As stultifying and stupid is it to tell what, but all the more exhilarating, if sometimes a sense of humor right in the center stands.
I check it out.

"A blonde calls her boyfriend to work on," Honey, I have a puzzle, but I can not. Each piece is unique. "Your friend:" Do you have a template "" Yes, a red rooster on the box?. But it works just not "your friend". Reg 'up to do not we try it together today evening, "the evening he looks at the Big Box of silence ..... Then he says: "So now we will pack the corn flakes back on and not talk about it!"

I'm sorry for this blonde tasteless joke. I am ashamed.

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So today threw back that far. Family celebration! Who does not tear your hands up and break out into singing, has no heart.

The day on which one is aware of how his family really is.
My mother does as if it were very happy and to smile. My aunt complains about Germany in all areas (tax, unemployment, Solzialrecht, they can do anything!). My grandpa likes to tell and a lot, but unfortunately all we know the stories already, but you should have a say still does not.
My grandma looks in promotional brochures for special offers ... bedlinen Micro Phaser bought yogurt for 99Cent, vacuum cleaner bag replacement bags, is all that appears useful in the first 2.3 seconds.
My sister sits there and looks .... eats her 4th Piece of cake, well wers do?

And I sit and improvise rhythms in Uhrzeugertakt.

But much as I have my family and I can say that I'm mostly a nice and friendly family, apart from my father, but who does not know that?

There is another way. Family celebration of a Ferundes! The whole family is here, certainly a good dozen. When I arrived (which I do actually know where you want? I was invited) were already properly on all cups and a good mood. Everything had momentum and everything was here in brief says.
It's like theater you sit in the corner and lets talk.

When the father (already slightly drunk) a dent in his newly laid carpet found this one, the total Amageddon breaks down on us! He runs over and over again through this downturn, all look to him already. But then they get up and run with it through this downturn, followed by great dialogue like:

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a family party family celebration two polar bear Knut

? Ne the Dell is just now was not there yet? "
"That's a dent? Let me look ma"
"What? A Dent? Can not be true? "

When really all ran over this indentation, except from me, was the speculation going on! How did the dent there? If they stay there? One made sure again whether it is really a dent acted.
I find the mother was sitting in my buddies and we laughed at us both dumb and stupid.

It was really big show, tomorrow goes with those in the zoo. I'm there!

When I told my own mother, I go to the zoo, she was totally out of line!

"What, you go to zoo? You pulling my leg? "
" No, what is there so unusual? "
" You're never in the zoo! "

What can I say, she's right, I was in the late 90's the last time at the zoo. Why am I going Easter with a foreign family in the zoo and not with my own? I do not know, I like my family yet, somehow, I would go with that but never in the zoo. Vllt this is a sign that you have had enough and really want to be different for someone.

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people hand once the heart. Yes, he is cute, yes it is small, yes he is white and yes, damn HE HAS A SWEET VIEW
Puck or

Answer:?. NO, not if you betrachet it objectively, it's a little bear has four paws and falls every 3 feet on the face. DAS myself clear .... and also at a higher level. Nevertheless, I am not (kn) ut enough.

But actually it is not the poor animal that disturbs. It is the marketing.
Knut-mugs, T-shirts, stuffed animals, ice, blankets, diapers, financial plans and soon certainly also a grungy setting an entry. All because a little bear on the public like .. shit skin on his own.
Let the people but just watch the animal and let the garbage Francis aside. The only thing is now I can sleep calmly that the polar bear has his own 10 man strong security personnel around the Clock can take care of the rascal, that he still firmly in the dirt digging tomorrow ..

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British intelligence Heavy Metal

Gifted students listen to Heavy Metal. The British University of Warwick found that neither Brahms nor Miles Davis, but the music of Slayer and Slipknot to the favorites of youthful intelligence too.

York (bb) - According to a study by the State University of Warwick school gifted young people prefer to choose their music, Heavy Metal. The responsible psychologist Stuart Cadwallader presented his findings today at the conference of the British Psychological Society in York. Together with his team, he interviewed more than 1,000 members of the National Academy for Gifted and Talented Youth, an organization that recruits its members from among the top five percent of British students aged between 11 and 19 years.
More than a third of respondents reported heavy metal as one of their favorite music. Thus, the outsider saved money was tied with rock and pop. Far behind it was the cliche of the geek music, jazz and classical music, according to a report of the Independent.
the fact that the most gifted students tend to be more brutal and provocative music, is explained as follows Cadwallader: "Perhaps gifted people experience more pressure and a lot of frustration and need the music but rather a valve to let their emotions run free."

what extent the choice of hard music preference says something about the IQ of the subjects or whether they rather depend on fashion trends, not cleared the study. Nevertheless, they help clean up the prejudice, that Heavy Metal is a style of music is for the underprivileged.

Source: Laut.de

YEAHHHHHHH MUTHERFUCKER Hell, is not it?

Vllt are intelligent students due to work pressure and frustration almost forced sometimes to let off steam. Those who have nothing else, listening to music. Who has nothing and is still really mad, is not permanently be happy with hit.

Well, seis drum. A study shows that that Heavy Metal has a wider circle of influence, as we assumed, is the first step in the right direction.

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hear if perfectionism is a pain.

There are moments and surely everyone knows where aussreicht up a single bug is really getting angry.
Today I had control of music and there were both positive and negative aspects to this story. The
was positive, I druchgezogen habs. 4.07Sekunden player, no matter if something sounded wrong Arnold Böcklin just kept going. Cessation is not well. Now we have the positive and checked off already.
The bad was the story that I am in relation to other, often have relatively playful.
This is a fact that incredibly me angry because I know I can do better.
, there have been relatively large number of small and medium errors in it, though it was a simple song .... Well, seis drum. Change can not and pull down for hours; it would therefore probably wrong. In theory this sounds very nice, in practice, this is very difficult to implement.
The criticism of the assessing teacher was limited to the following sentence

"Well, was loud,"

Granted, it was loud, and I have just scared me. But this is the sort of criticism one would expect if you just demonstrated what has? I'm not saying that what we should pretend wrong, so that the students, in which case I to can swim in their own arrogance. However, one should have to say something, which is kind of recyclable. If shit sound, then you should say so.

Well, I stand there and know that it is not just THE crowning achievement was, and also expect that you are honest enough and say it.
This has annoyed me a bit.
more genuine I would be annoyed at bad criticism, who not? But then you would know at least what you can do better next time.

Back to the topic. One probably bothers you behind so much because they wanted to advance too much. I wanted to make it so good, I would not want to get up I no longer needed.
It is true so much can be obsession, a motor, so doggedness is the brake. But how do you draw the line?

remain at the end left only me who takes stock. Armed with the knowledge that you need more practice also occurs, but it can badly. Playing with the realization that one is unfortunately not good enough to be good enough but also with the realization that one probably will be good times. Maybe we went

me not to touch .... or making it something perfect, but just a "Well, now you have not played well, but somehow just shows the trace of enthusiasm and a spark of talent"
that, it would have been what my teacher would have to say, and may should.

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Shortcuts ...

quotes! Usually only a sentence that can mean the world. Here are some about which one can both laugh and think and should be.

about love:

"love, this is such a problem that Marx did not solve"
-Anouilh

"Love is the only slavery that is perceived as pleasure"
-Shaw

is "love one serious mental illness. "
-Plato (Well, since he had a bad day)

"Love is a wonderful disease - there must always be two to bed."
-Lembke

"By the Sea for a brother. By the Sea for a mistress."


"Man is not to judge according to what he knows, but after what he loves."
-Ums Augustinus

for today to close at times ....

"At some point must also be an end times ..."
-Basu

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love? Where? How? Wat? When?


love is beautiful as long as it is there Love is beautiful

long as it's true love is beautiful

long as it is rare

find love?
love when?
When it comes to take her



love hurts when it goes
love hurts when she begs


love hurts when you do not want

find love?
Love when? When it comes

take her to

love comes
called it luck
love comes
is one crazy love

comes only in the play
love comes
not live at all

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fear

The fear there is not sleeping
Fear
you awake Welcomes you to

She runs
day
It's in every
says no one Even if

In moments of silence
Full of grief and pain
If none since
Then she grabs your heart
She looks to you You
whistles from the rooftops
she laughing derisively
tinny or she is crying ...

losing someone is the
difficult
mothers, friends or even more

you is not nothing
It is of value
you can see what you desire

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"Every second is a pirates'

Source: Web.de

key messages:

- number of persons, the CDs increased or DVDs from 7.9 million to 31.4 million
- burn 70 percent of all people, content, copy music.
- According to the study have been fired last year 766 million CDs and DVDs.
- wider availability of "burning equipment"

what's this? RIGHT! The music dies, all the artists starve, and my children have to sing Happy Brithday at least 5 times while I was behind bars hunger and a precious flower, in my cell, my only friend. All because I burned an MP3 on a silicon Add. Damn.

Well, the people of you that have been lagged for pirate copying know how it looks in German prisons. A: Disastrous!
It only receives 46 channels on TV. The outlook is bad, the bed is only once a week, newly acquired, not like the carpet color, the cabinet is too small and the 8-square are also controlled by the evil guards yet! There is only one hot meal a day. Moment, reminds me somehow at home ... should not be the issue.

What about now listen to the music market?

- Tour 2005 U2 played only 211th Million dollars a
- Tour 2003 Metallica a measly 40 million Doller (but was NEN geiles concert, James Hut ab)
- The Privatvermägem vonM Jay-Z is only 300 million estimated
- a ticket of Genesis, which for a tour combine cost over 100 €
- a CD costs €
still 15 - Neither Universal nor Sony have to file for bankruptcy
- Popstar bands to spring up, the superstar is looking for seasonal, seems to be worthwhile.
- from many bands you can hear that they are obliged to increase its visibility on the Internet (Homepage, Torrent, Youtube, etc.).

course, are all about here only sketchy and sometimes inaccurate. But what I'm saying?

It produces a lot of crap ... only you need not buy it today. Things you really want to be bought anyway, for if only to have it.
pirates ... 5 years in prison. So I see people who attack and hurt people for fun and are more likely to leave because their punishment is only the prisoners of my own. What is this?

Well, I distance myself from burning. This is bad .. you know the 10 Commandments? Brief Excerpt:

first I am the Lord your God who brought you out of Egypt, led out of bondage added. (Ex 20:2 and Deuteronomy 5:6)
second Thou shalt have no other gods before me. (Ex 20:3)
5th Honour thy father and thy mother, that you may live long in the land that gives you the Lord your God. (Ex 20:12)
6th Non-jump off the edge of the pool, or clap dat!
7th Non piracy
8th Thou shalt not
9th Do not covet your neighbor's house.
10.Es is wrong to be French. Today

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The mystery of the woman's magazine ...

As I let me lie, just before 1 o'clock afternoon at the tram stop, got up, I saw the following poster. This poster came from a not appointed by me women's magazine.

addition to the delightful young lady on the cover showed more striking point on the cover.
On the left is treated the issue of misery in the relationship, "on the right, a headline" The diet that really works "in this ad was following" How do they not let themselves be manipulated by advertising, "and just below Products for women in the test, should buy.

What is this? Are women that stupid?
is first referred to the dissatisfaction in the relationship, then suggests that one is to blame. To feign a little self confidence, tips are given on how to defend themselves against the contagious desire to consume and then this knowledge gained in the same self-image transferred to another account. Actually a smart idea, strangely the same.
Is that also on the theme "Where can I get a wife?" We must wait and hope
...

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Mother's Little Helper

Mother's Little Helper

What a drag it is getting old
"Kids are different today,"
I hear ev'ry mother say
Mother needs something today to calm her down
And she though not's really ill
There's a little yellow pill She goes running for
the shelter of a mother's little helper And it helps
her on her way, gets her through her busy day

"Things are different today," I hear ev'ry mother say

Cooking fresh food for a husband's just a drag
So she buys an instant cake and she burns her frozen steak
And goes running for the shelter of a mother's little helper
And two help her on her way, get her through her busy day

Doctor please, some more of these
Outside the door, she took four more
What a drag it is getting old

"Men just aren't the same today"
I hear ev'ry mother say
They just don't appreciate that you get tired
They're so hard to satisfy, You can tranquilize your mind
So go running for the shelter of a mother's little helper
And four help you through the night, help to minimize your plight

Doctor please, some more of these
Outside the door, she took four more
What a drag it is getting old

"Life's just much too hard today," I hear ev'ry mother say

The Pusuit of happiness just seems a bore And if you take
more of those, you will get an overdose
No more running for the shelter of a mother's little helper They just helped you
on your way, through your busy dying day

Subject unfortunately not only mothers and people who can cook ..

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"The value of a man is measured reliably in the shaping of his free time"

Take this quote times as a springboard for this task. Ermütigt by many friends who also have a blog, urged me within, to create one.

If one puts together a blog so, ask me a lot more than the one normally imagines. Besides the perfect Farkombination, the appropriate font size, the agony of the correct name, they ask themselves "Why, am I actually doing here?"
Why do I do that here? So that it reads someone? This torment me no more nightmares and psychosis time through the thick ice cover leak out? Hardly!
Ums In short, I have too much time. I had two alternatives, either a) I create a blog and submit myself to my desire to tell a lot of rubbish, or b) staring at walls. The choice of hard lot, but I'll bet you recognize how it ended.

seriously: Of course, many have read it. Their views say and joy have to spend your free time with my life.
course, you can write about anything. The invention of the wheel, the invention of radio, the invention of the rider and / or the thumb screws in the Middle Ages. Here is
can read it all. consider

To quote again in more detail. It is striking how provocative acts that statement, but it is so absurd?
There are young talented people who really spend every weekend in clubs and bars, they to pour the brine and then try to verify the TÜV-tested top speed of its two golf again very carefully. If the value? Does this make sense?
There is also the opposite. Monika is 8 years old and plays piano, she plays very nice. She laughs inwardly already on the arts Shostakovich. It will give 16 concerts, grandmothers make you cry and force the first edition of the Gala-Bravo.
If the value? Does this make sense?

We are all only realize when we are dead.